The ‘Sequel’ to unconditional love

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Sequel the 4thmember of our family came to our home on the 2ndof October 2016.

Oh but wait first let me introduce you to Sequel …….and how she came into our life

In 2015, I was very busy with the publication of my cook book Karwar to Kolhapur Via Mumbai and in 2016 April 17ththe book was released. This book took good 3 years to be completed and it was a full time job as thoughts would come anytime in the day and then one thought would link up to the other and I just would not realize how time would fly.

But after the book released and I basked in its glory for sometime I was happy and content and relaxing. In no time I started getting anxious as time just would not pass and as usual the kid and husband both are busy. I thought I’m done writing with the book that I had wanted to and I could not figure out what should be the next step. Good 5 months passed away and then I started getting restless. Sitting idle at home was seeming impossible. I would meet up with friends, have lunches and go out for dinner with them, but how much can you do that.

The day started seeming never ending and restlessness was at its peak.

One evening I was at a very close friend Shilpa’s home along with another dear buddy KD and I was talking to both of them as to how I seem to be feeling lost without work and everyone around at home so busy that I felt “kutra pun nahi ahe vicharalya” (there is no dog around also who can give you attention) basically in Marathi when a person is at his lowest and people don’t care about him / her they usually say “Tyala Kurt pun vicharat nahi” (even a dog does not bother about him) and that’s exactly how I felt. To this thought KD immediately suggested why don’t you get a dog home!

I have always ben petrified of dogs be it small or large and now imagine KD feels getting a dog should do me good! I was not so sure of this suggestion, but the thought was ticking constantly in my head.

Yug has always been a dog lover and for many years had been coaxing me to get one, so I thought “ek teer main do nishane” I started toying with the idea, weighing the pros and cons as getting a dog home is a huge responsibility, just like raising another child who cannot even speak your language. So after a lot of discussions it was decided that we should get a dog home…. But my only condition was that lets get a smaller breed now and once I’m used to it then lets get a bigger breed later.

And that’s how a teeny weeny Shih Tzu puppy came home….. I did feel like a absolute first time mother who is unsure of what to do, also a name had to be thought of… we had a dog many years back called Junior who was a Shih Tzu but for some reason he was not with us for too long and so Sequel came in as a respite to Junior who we missed very dearly and in no time got very attached and also realized it was not all that difficult. In fact it was fun and Yug would be excited with her around to teach her to fetch.

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Trust me, ever since she has come home, the house seems bustling with energy and seeing lil Sequel running all around the house feels amazing and the best part is, when your back home from work or an outing the welcome you get is indescribable.

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Is simplicity so difficult? …

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This maximum city has got us a lot of opportunities to grow and become successful. Even an uneducated person who comes from a village can make a living for himself here, which is amazing! But in the quest of growth some how I realized the simplicity of life has been lost.

I very vividly remember as a child every weekend my dad would make it a point to spend time with us, either go out for a weekend or Friday night would be a movie and Saturday night would be dinner at some restaurants close by, be it Chinese at Nanking or Flora, the Great Punjab for my simple dinner of alu matter and roti.

Our weekend trips would be so much fun…. Dad would pick me up after school on a Friday evening with mum and my brother already in the car with our suitcases packed and then we would decided where to head… no hotel reservations, no itenary planned and yet those weekends would be adventurous… Mhateran, Pune, Nasik, Bellary, Kolhapur, Alibaug were a few places we visited… and the list continues. So my childhood has been memorable.

As I grew up and went to college I still remember I would be given Rs 25/- everyday as pocket money, which was sufficient and a railway pass to reach college. I would take a bus from my home to the train station and then a train from Bandra to reach college.

Now with the 25 rupees that I had, I had to figure out how to save some from it, for a snack with friends, just an outing or maybe a movie and trust me it was a fun challenge  to managing to save quit a bit of it and then go gadding about with my friends. For that, sometimes I would walk from the station instead of taking a bus or an auto rickshaw ride  back home and use that money to treat myself to a nice mango dolly after the long tiring sweaty walk.

So you can imagine how simple life was for me. A simple dinner of alu matter and a crisp roti, movies, long drives, a mango dolly …. Life was beautiful

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Today things have changed…. I live in an amazing house, own luxurious cars and eat in the most fancy restaurants, have loads of friends and yet life seemed empty. According to everyone round me I seemed to have “the perfect” life and felt what the hell am I cribbing about! And yes I did believe them and felt everything is good then why this hollow feeling of emptiness

After much thought I understood that “for me” life is about togetherness, simplicity and doing things that I love and feel happy doing, like I love to walk on Worli sea face while the sun is setting, or at night I love to sit at the far end of Marine drive over looking the city blinging with lights and tall buildings making the place look glamorous, while the sea in front of me talks of its vastness and consistency. As much as I enjoy eating in a fancy restaurant I also love to go to a small khanaval (eatery) and relish a simple meal. I prefer spending my time in buzzed up markets with cramped shops selling masalas, vegetables, utencils and not to forget flowers, I love going for long drives and stopping for an ice cream abruptly some place. Cooking, listening to music and painting are very therapeutic for me. It’s not the number of friends that I have but who are the ones who will stand by me was important.

After a bit of a struggle and a lot of thought put in, I did manage to get some simplicity in my life finally ….feeling blissful

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At the end of a tunnel there is always light

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A few days back I was walking in my local market engrossed, looking out for some typical seasonal vegetables when I felt a hand very gently tapping my shoulder and I curiously turned around hoping to see a familiar face….  But in front of me stood a young girl who I had never met before.

She had a meek smile on her face and she questioned me “Aren’t you Smita Deo?” and after I had said a yes, she introduced herself and said she has been following me on Facebook and watching my shows as well. I was delighted to hear that and I was about to end the conversation and move on, when she very softly held my hand and said, that she saw an interview of mine on TV, talking about mental health and then she actually started talking to me about something that she suffers from.

It was very disturbing to hear, she was recently diagnosed with a condition (that’s treatable) and was just married a year back. Coping with issues in an arranged marriage was anyways not easy and now to top it all this whole new condition to deal with was going hard on her, her spouse and the rest of the family as well.

She was painfully talking about her bouts of depression, sometimes anxiety and when she would turn violent how her family thought she was mad or may be even possessed. I was surprised that even in this age and time people think this way. Well, we both stood on a road for the next 10 min where she spoke and I simply heard her.

She said she had done a course on fashion designing and was married off right after the course had ended and within a few months of marriage she was experiencing, bouts of depression and anxiety. The next few months went about not understanding what the hell was going on and people around her giving their own diagnoses to her condition.

I have always been bewildered with the fact that in certain health situations most people around us become doctors themselves giving their two bits. Anyway this women went through the same, till she was confused, frustrated and her condition worsened and her spouse and in laws could not handle it and sent her back to her parents home and opted for a divorce instead of understanding the situation and seeking the right help. Surprisingly I was not surprised on hearing this as I always feel that many of us are not aware of mental health and wellbeing and also care less about it.

Well after spending some time with her on a street and hearing her story I realized how important it was for her to talk to someone and feel that she is not the only one going through an issue. I have always believed that speaking always helps

So as of now she has chosen to take medical help for her condition…. She is still not confident of starting her life afresh but I am sure she will soon as I feel once you have accepted the problem … you can be treated and then there is no looking back to feeling better ….

And at the end of our heart, felt conversation I just said to her what I had heard when I was struggling with my condition “ THERE IS ALWAYS LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL