Grief, sorrow, misery, pain………

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What is grief?

The definition of grief that I found in the dictionary was

“Intense sorrow, especially caused by someone’s death”

We all go through grief in our lives at some point or the other and many of us on different occasions as well.

I was talking to a very dear friend who is going through grief for sometime caused due to the loss of someone who was very dear to her. While we were chatting about what she was going through a question just came into my mind.

Why is grief only caused by someone’s death?

What do you say about the feelings and the pain you go through when a close friendship or relationship dies? The pain and the suffering one goes through, can that also be called grief? Cause ultimately it is death of something that has been dear to you.

These days most of us seem to have got really busy with building our career or endlessly providing a comfortable life for our loved ones.

I remember, as a child life was so simple not just for me but also for my parents.

Dad worked on a very good post in a reputed company. His timings were 9:00 am – 5:00 pm. Even though he had to travel really far he was always home by 7:00pm. Fun weekends were planned either short trips to nearby places, a movie or a simple dinner at a restaurant. We would go to the beach for a swim or just simply make sand castles and feel super proud with the bigness created.

If any of the meals would be boring at home or I didn’t like, I would simple walk into my neighbors home and see what exciting was cooked and ate to my hearts content and come home all satisfied.

Our way of communicating with the rest of the friends would not be on what’s app or on the phone but one would simply stand in the window and make a typical sound from the mouth and in a few seconds all the friends would be peeping out of the window and making plans to meet up in the evening using sign language.

Today technology has become very advanced and we have a mobile phone which we all our using to communicate. If I need to talk to a friend I don’t have to visit her and spend time with her, I simply dial some buttons on my phone and I can hear her. That’s amazing! but somewhere the whole thing of just simply going to your friend’s home and spending fun moments has reduced. Missing a person and taking that effort to meet up has reduced a lot.

Our world, which is so large and amazing has suddenly become very small. It now, just fits into our computers and mobile phones. Most of us are so lost in it that we have forgotten to see things going on around us. For example, while we are traveling we miss seeing so many things that create an impact on our minds and the memory of that is etched forever in our hearts.

A few days back I was driving to the gym and just on the corner of the street that I live I saw a tree that was blossomed with tiny pink flowers and can you imagine I had never seen that before coz probably I was busy messaging on the mobile phone. This thought really made me feel sad as how many of us realize how technology has taken over our lives. Isn’t it some kind of a death with reality of life.

I had many friends who I would make it a point to meet up and have a good time. But today the convenience of just picking up a phone and talking has killed wonderful friendships as we don’t meet up often. This is making most of us lonely in spite of living in a city that is buzzing all the time. Shouldn’t we grief over the death of simpler times.

I am not here to advocate against the usage of technology. But I was simply trying to compare that what kind of a life we are leading of grief without even realizing it

 

The ‘Sequel’ to unconditional love

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Sequel the 4thmember of our family came to our home on the 2ndof October 2016.

Oh but wait first let me introduce you to Sequel …….and how she came into our life

In 2015, I was very busy with the publication of my cook book Karwar to Kolhapur Via Mumbai and in 2016 April 17ththe book was released. This book took good 3 years to be completed and it was a full time job as thoughts would come anytime in the day and then one thought would link up to the other and I just would not realize how time would fly.

But after the book released and I basked in its glory for sometime I was happy and content and relaxing. In no time I started getting anxious as time just would not pass and as usual the kid and husband both are busy. I thought I’m done writing with the book that I had wanted to and I could not figure out what should be the next step. Good 5 months passed away and then I started getting restless. Sitting idle at home was seeming impossible. I would meet up with friends, have lunches and go out for dinner with them, but how much can you do that.

The day started seeming never ending and restlessness was at its peak.

One evening I was at a very close friend Shilpa’s home along with another dear buddy KD and I was talking to both of them as to how I seem to be feeling lost without work and everyone around at home so busy that I felt “kutra pun nahi ahe vicharalya” (there is no dog around also who can give you attention) basically in Marathi when a person is at his lowest and people don’t care about him / her they usually say “Tyala Kurt pun vicharat nahi” (even a dog does not bother about him) and that’s exactly how I felt. To this thought KD immediately suggested why don’t you get a dog home!

I have always ben petrified of dogs be it small or large and now imagine KD feels getting a dog should do me good! I was not so sure of this suggestion, but the thought was ticking constantly in my head.

Yug has always been a dog lover and for many years had been coaxing me to get one, so I thought “ek teer main do nishane” I started toying with the idea, weighing the pros and cons as getting a dog home is a huge responsibility, just like raising another child who cannot even speak your language. So after a lot of discussions it was decided that we should get a dog home…. But my only condition was that lets get a smaller breed now and once I’m used to it then lets get a bigger breed later.

And that’s how a teeny weeny Shih Tzu puppy came home….. I did feel like a absolute first time mother who is unsure of what to do, also a name had to be thought of… we had a dog many years back called Junior who was a Shih Tzu but for some reason he was not with us for too long and so Sequel came in as a respite to Junior who we missed very dearly and in no time got very attached and also realized it was not all that difficult. In fact it was fun and Yug would be excited with her around to teach her to fetch.

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Trust me, ever since she has come home, the house seems bustling with energy and seeing lil Sequel running all around the house feels amazing and the best part is, when your back home from work or an outing the welcome you get is indescribable.

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